Cameron Diaz rattled a lot of people cages by the stupid remark she made concerning marriage. According to US Magazine.com Cameron stated “Marriage is a dying institution. “I think we have to make our own rules, “she explains. “I don’t think we should live our lives in relationships based off old traditions that don’t suit our world any longer.” I do not make it a habit to smear any one’s name in CWL but I must say this statement is clearly obtuse. People get married for a lot of reasons one of those reasons is to honor God’s way of life for man and women which is the right reason.
CWL would like to introduce marriage expert Dr. David Stevens.
Thank you Deanetta, it is my pleasure to be with you. I’ve been looking forward to sharing with you and your readers for a while now!
Let me say right up front that Cameron Diaz is so very wrong. You cannot make it up as you go along. When making a film why do they have certain rules and methods to get a story from concept to film? Should they just make it up as they go or do they need a script? That’s why I have worked hard to become an expert, to pull from the past those traditions that are standards and staples of community.
Dr. Stevens tell CWL readers about yourself and how long you have been married?
My wife and I started this marriage ministry in the early 70’s. I began counseling couples, both married and pre-married, and noticed that there was such a lack of simple information available that would help them understand how to make the journey. Our own marital journey of 49 years we will celebrate this September 2011.
Actually back in those times a lot of the ministers did not require any kind of pre-marriage counseling prior to them marrying you. They just kind of showed up and went for it. Any other thing that requires a license demands some kind of training before you get the piece of paper. So my wife Dorothy and I sensed the calling of the Lord and jumped right in developing materials that would help illustrate and demonstrate the sound marital principles coming from the Bible.
I remember our first event being a weekend seminar at our church. The cost for the weekend classes was $15.00 which included a full roast turkey luncheon on Saturday. And if they attended both Friday night and Saturday we returned $5.00 of the registration money, LoL! Obviously we were not trying to make any money, it was the valuable information that was our drive.
How do you feel about the institution of marriage?
Well (smile) I am certainly for it! I’ve devoted at least 40 some years of my life to studying the Bible and what it has to say about this precious institution. It is a wonderful gift that God has given to us. Marriage is the beginning of community. It is to be honored and respected. Often today it is regarded so lightly as we see the infestation of same sex partnering trying to pretend that it is a natural outflowing of human love. Then there is the increase in folks living together in a pseudo-marriage that’s really not a marriage. You cannot be almost married! People who are shacking to see how it might work are actually wasting their time. The experiences are worlds apart. God promises to bless that which He authorizes. Anything else is on its own!
Dr. Stevens what are some of the topics you teach in your marriage seminars/classes?
We try to go from A to Z and back again (smile). But some of the topics we deal with in our seminars are:
- The Triangular Plan – A three (3) part presentation of the purpose and function of marriage.
- The Gender Difference – How understanding these differences can foster marital harmony.
- Sex Matters – An often misapplied, misunderstood element in the relationship.
- The Dynamic of Relationships – The building blocks for forming a marital relationship.
- Who Is In Charge of What – Helping couples to identify workable roles that maximize harmony.
- Conflict Management – What are the rules of settlement?
Dr. Stevens a lot of high-profile ministers are teaching marriage seminars but yet they themselves are divorced or are opened to public ridicule because of marital scandals. Are they qualified to counsel married couples with problems?
I suppose information is information, but I would rather get my information from someone who first knows what they are talking about, and secondly someone who is practicing what they preach. We know that old adage about doing what I say and not doing what I do makes no sense at all! If I am sightless how can I then lead someone else out of the darkness?
Dr. Stevens what type of counseling would you recommend for couples who are having marital issues dealing with adultery, finances, or sexual addiction? Do you feel these topics are part of demonic spirits attacking marriages?
Whatever the issue, whether it is the more serious issues in your list or something less complicated I think that couples ought to have access to their pastor or other counselors in the church. Something so simple can turn out to be a hotbed issue. Sometimes churches do not have trained counselors but they should seek some good old full of the, “Holy Ghost and wisdom folks who will tell the truth in love”.
You asked about demonic spirits attacking marriages. Sure Satan does not want any marriage to work. That’s why the Bible tells us to put on the whole armor because we are at war. This same Bible teaches us that Satan is defeated, but our weapons are not carnal or of human device. We must fight according to biblical strategies and use the weapons provided.
Dr. Stevens you have written numerous books could you introduce your works to the readers.
Yes there are four relationship books on dating, love, marriage, and in the fourth one parenting also. Here are the titles in the order of appearance: MARRIAGE: THE CORRIDORS, CASTLES, and CONFLICTS Takes the reader through the whole journey of dating, courting, wedding planning, and keeping it together; MARRIAGE: THE RULES of THE GAME also works from the foundation of dating on into the more serious issues of partnering; MARRIAGE: CATCHING A SECOND WIND now jumps straight into the burning issues of marriage for a lifetime; and then in LOVE, MARRIAGE and THE BABY CARRIAGE we put all of it together from dating which I feel is paramount, on into falling in love, marrying, and responsible parenting.
Do you have any current projects you are working on?
Yes, I am going to do an eBook soon, and incidentally my publisher is in the process of making all of my books into eBooks. I should be working on producing a new video series of seminar materials for home study.
What is your favorite scripture for the institution of marriage?
Genesis 2:24 has to be my all time favorite for marriage because it outlines the basics of what I call the Triangular Plan. There are three directives given that form this summation of marriage: A public leaving event; the mutual vows of commitment , and the marriage act of sexual unity.
Dr. Stevens is there anything else you would like to say to the readers?
I would encourage them to please read my books! I have poured a lifetime of study and personal practice into these pages. All of this is useless if it is not consumed and put to use.
You can trust what I say because we are a product of our own teaching of more than four wonderful decades of love and devotion to God and each other.
How can readers learn more about you and purchase your books?
Thank you Deanetta for giving this opportunity for a shameless plug (smile). All of the books are on Amazon.com or from the publisher Xlibris, but the easiest and most cost effective way is to go to our website: www.soundmarriages.com S&H is free this month!
CWL would like to thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to share your expertise on marriage. May God bless your family and ministry.
Thanks so much, and may God bless you and the CWL family as well.
Thank you so much for this article This is the first time that I have seen it. Somehow we got out of contact. But one of my friends discovered it today and posted it. Thank you so much. If I can be used again for the Master please don’t hesitate to get in touch!
sincerely,
David Stevens